On The Horns Of A Dilemma

Yesterday, I traveled to Marin for a counseling session by a doctor who provides a non-profit program for young men. I met with him to help provide funding for his young men's group. He also provides counseling for people who get involved in his Life 101 program.

The counseling session focused on my taking back who I am and cutting Dina off: no contact whatsoever. It was suggested I write to her saying, if Dina wants to come back to me and provide a stabile, positive, loving relationship, I would discuss this with her. Until, if and when, she comes to me offering a real relationship, I am to stop all communication. Not to read her emails, texts, etc. The concept was to give my manhood back to me.

Ahh, the horns of a dilemma. To be stuck on said horns. I have been there for Dina all these nine months as her behavior fluctuated from one extreme to the other: sometimes with me, sometimes going off into her private little hell and clamming up.
But this is what I do when I am in love. I stand by my woman, even when she is trying, against all common sense, to leave me, as in this case. Now, the jury has made their decision: to a person, everyone who has spoken with me, friends, family, strangers, counselors, etc., has said to leave her. If she comes back, she comes back. Otherwise, they all say I am losing nothing; I have already lost her. She has been trying to leave me since August of last year. They all think I should just let go.

I love her and want the best for her. When I was young, and having a lot of adjustment problems in life, I wish I had someone to stand by me in my time of need. Nobody helped me. Since I was able to straighten my life out, I have been there for anyone I cared about. And that includes Dina. Sometimes, being there in exteme situations where anybody, including Dina, can see I am reaching out to be there for her. can make all the difference in a cared one's life. That means I go to the wall in providing my support. It worked for me when I was there for myself and nobody else was, and it has worked for others I have cared about since then. Because they knew, no matter what, I would be there for them.

Do I leave Dina in her time of need? Beause now she is doing something, she admitted to yesterday, that is harming her and her future. She may not make her goals with the comprimised situation she has now put herself in. I feel I should be there for her. But do I listen to the 100% of everyone's opinions, or do I do what I usually do: do what I believe in and stand by her and be the person she can count on to help her. I lean towards what I have done all my life. Maybe it is wrong, but I feel strongly for Dina's situation and want so much to be the one person who stands by her, through thick and thin.

Ahh, to be stuck on the horns of a dilemma, but knowing I should be who I have always been and be there for her.
_______________________________________

This is part of the email just sent to Dina. Names and places have been removed to protect the innocent.

Dina,

The doctor I have been helping is issuing a newsletter Monday to 1100 of his supporters of his program to help young men build character. The newsletter will be all about me and providing the telecom analysis as a fund raising for his endeavors.

Yesterday, we spoke at length and he suggested I engage his counseling service and pay him $165 to speak about my relationship problem.

I took him up on his offer and went to see him. The email I sent you about your current situation was composed while I drove back from meeting with him.

He said I should take my manhood back. Cut you off completely, and if and when you decide I am worth something to you. This has to be something completely the opposite to the disastrous relationship you have delivered over the past nine months. He said I should not communicate with you: don't read your texts or your emails. If you come back and say you want me and want to be with me, I should discuss this with you. He said I should tell you what I want in a relationship and see if you can agree to give me a stabile, loving relationship without a lot of kookiness in it.

You can read my thoughts on my new blog entry: On The Horns Of A Dilemma.
Let me know if you guessed the direction I decided to go after you read it. I would be interested in seeing if you could figure out what I would do in this regard.