Quote:"Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand, yet be unaffected. The rule is we must be hard on ourselves but always considerate of others"
AA big book pg. 74
Respect for others is the lesson that I take out of this Big Book thought.
I must go to any lengths to free myself if I wish to find that peace of mind
that I have sought for so long. However, none of this must be done at another's expense. Selfishness has no place in the AA way of life.
When I take the fifth step it is wiser to choose a person with whom I share common aims because if that person does not understand me, my spiritual progress may be delayed and I could be in danger of a relapse.
So I ask for devine guidance before choosing the man whom I take into my confidence.
I sought understanding from you.
This train wreck destructive ship upon stormy seas sought harbor and realizing there was none began to crumble and go into dark places.
Dark with thoughts of drink driving away the demons it has fought in the past.
Not living in the now butdreaming of "how it was gonna be"-you know I do that very well. I e-mail you when I am not working and can pull it together. If that is notenough for you continue to assume that I do not keep my word. I feel very careful with my work just now. I dreamed of the future ineach others arms, but wait who was gonna pay rent, buy food, gas, cars, take care of everybody? How was that going to happen?I feel you to be my best friend, you who know me the best. I try to understand you yet my past experiences have taught me that sooneror later I would have a drink with you. And then, my life as I knew it would be over and reality would come crashing in.
off to a pillow of tears, transition.
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