Now What Do You Do, Part III

Sunday morning.

Ate too much last night:

Cajun Prawns
Chips and Salsa
Deep Fried Calamari
Alaskan Snow Crab Soup
Salmon w/ Bok Choy and Rice
16 oz. glass of Wine (Earlier in food fest pig out)
Old Faxhioned Whiskey Drink (Late in food fest pig out)
Peanut Butter Torte w/ Whipped Cream
Bag of Cherry Fruit Chews

The stress of Dina's shenigans and overly manipulative behavior is bearing down on me.

My leading the drum circle yesterday was nothing short of incredible. The beats I put out and the speed I put them out in got everyone into a drumming frenzy. The whole field of listeners exploded in applause at the end of several of drum riffs we did. What a wonderful drumming experience yesterday and last weekend. All because the person I love is ambivalent towards our relationship.

Still not sure about what to think of Dina's communications yesterday. She wants us broken up, no communication, (except when she wants to email or text me), and I just basically to go away. She is encouraging me to find another woman.
Now, alll of a sudden, she wants to call me.
My brain cries, 'No, everything is being controlled by her. She doesn't want you any more and you should just leave her to her wacky directions and be done with her.
But...I love her.
I feel so conflicted.
I hope I get a chance to speak with Will before she makes the call and I have to make a decision to answer or not.
I don't even know what she is calling me for.
Is it about the revenue opportunity I gave her? Most likely.
Is it about me and her? Almost definitely not.
She said, maybe in November she would want to see me.
She said I just overwhelm her too easily (Yeah, she throws our realtionship up in the air, destroying everything we have built, and I am overwhelming, not her and her actions: it is all me!).

God help me....