When You Find Someone You Love, But Can't Have

Sometimes you find someone you can love. You give that person everything you have to give and there is no holding back. The loved one gives everything they have and it makes your chest tight with the love that is growing within both of you. Suddenly, events occur that make no sense and you still love, but now it hurts. Nothing goes right for more than a few weeks and then, bang, you are dipped into the hurt and pain again, and again and again. Now it seems like where there was love, there is constant pain and pressure on you. You try harder and nothing changes. You are now in a constant swirl of effort that bears no fruit; just more hurt. It turns into anguish and you pretend nothing is wrong. If you speak about it, you only swirl in a faster losing downward cycle. You try to keep your head above water, but you feel a losing feeling like water filling your lungs. Now everything that was beautiful is now dark and dirty. You wait for the moment when your love, dreams, and even awareness of your loved one is now about to expire at the next rounding of an unknown corner of the relationship. Will this be the last time you go to your loved one's house? The last time you gaze upon your loved one's countenance? The last time you feel the excitement of the drive to your loved one? The sorrow when you leave? The moment of anguish is about to die like the flash of a just-lit match. Why did you prepare for the uptake of the love as it swirls and shimmers before your eyes in the beginning. The careful nurturing of your entwined loves as you so carefully move forward over time. When your love puts a requirement on you to perform in an impossible timeframe, you twist and spiral in a downward fall. Now, the moment of expirationn is momentarily upon you. Your breath gets tight and halting, escaping in staccato bursts. When does the axe fall, killing your love with the silent, swift slice of the blade as it drives its way home? When do you lie like a discarded carcass by the side of the road? To roar no more with the happiness of a love just founded. Looking forward to a growing love is now no more. What do you have left? Just memories of something that could have been, perchance for a lifetime. Now no more...