Just The Way Things Go Sometimes

Things just go a certain way sometimes.

Just when you think a bad thing has taken a turn for the better, it gets worse.

Such is the case with somebody I care very much about.

Today, after a long period of suffering, I had to make a decision to let go.

It was very hard for me and I still wonder if I made the right decision.

I have tried for nine long months to right what had taken a turn into something I still don't understand.

There are only so many paths you can go down in life, so you really don't understand everybody's trials and tribulations and what price they pay for what they do.

This is one of those situations.

When things went wrong, I gave it everything I had to try to straighten the situation.

Despite my best efforts, and some not the best, I finally gave up today.

It hurts.

And will continue to hurt for a long time as I try to get over something I lost that meant a lot to me.

Maybe it meant too much.

Maybe I need to get a more rounded life and not concentrate all my energies in one area.

Even if that area means the world to me, as this did.

I can look back and say, I gave it everything I had and I don't have anything to apologioze for. €

Sure, I made mistakes. I will always wonder if those mistakes cost me what I had.

I will never know.

Maybe someday she will see what a good person I am and have value for me.

I don't think so.

I wondered since the beginning why she was with me.

Now I don't have to wonder any more, she is not with me any longer.

I do wish she would have loved me a little more so that, maybe, things wouldn't have turned out the way they did.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Well, there are more important things to address now, like the rest of my life.

Up, Up and Away.